I’ve walked this earth for 18 years and that is one of the accomplishments that I am proud of. I thank the big guy above me for a new day each day. I haven’t achieved much in my lifetime but I am happy
as of where I stand. I don’t live to please the people around me, I live to my satisfaction
. I give when I can and whatever I have to offer without overrating myself. My self esteem is to its peake but not my ego. I am quick to judge just like all the millions of people out there. I have high standards but low expectations to eliminate my disappointments. My head is always held up high to prepare for positive outcomes. To keep it simple and sweet: I love my family, I love my friends, and more importantly, I love myself. Did I impress you yet?
LOL I don't give a fuck if I do.
YOU’VE GOT A FRIIIEEEEND IN ME!
Looks like that vagina gave him a real…. ….. ….Woody.
I bet if you asked him how he got the doll in there, he’d share a pretty interesting… …..Toy Story.
(Source: starmie, via lolsofunny)
Feeling thirsty? This gruesome creation is a cocktail called the Alien Brain Hemorrhage.
Here’s how you make one:
Fill a shot glass halfway with peach schnapps. Gently pour Bailey’s Irish Cream on top. After the shot is almost full, carefully add a small amount of blue curacao. After it settles, add a small splash (or a few drops) of grenadine syrup.
Photo by Martin Williams